Satellite Skin.

I like knowing when things that happen are for the best, not in an “everything happens for a reason” kind of way, but in a “this is how things unfolded and I’m going to be better off because of it” kind of way.

I like how excited my Poli Sci class gets about this website: http://www.laterooms.com/en/RenderComponent.aspx?control=geochallenged

I don’t like when people say, “life’s a bitch.”

I like my new music and the boy it came from.

I want to know what is going to make me most happy.

I want my spell check to stop nagging me to change “most happy” to “happiest.”

I want to make really beautiful things like this:

Huh.

www.colorquiz.com

Your Existing Situation

"Outgoing but unpredictable and unstable. Likes things to go her way, otherwise she becomes agitated, indecisive, and fake in her activities."

Your Stress Sources

"Wishes for freedom and independence, free from limitations and restrictions except for the ones she choices to give himself."

Your Restrained Characteristics

"Feels she is getting less than she deserves for all her hard work; however, she makes no effort to change things and tries to make the best of the situation."

Emotionally distant even from those closest to her.

His confidence is low but she is unable to admit that is the reason for her avoidance of conflict. Feels it is a situation out of her control and she is making the best of it.

"Seeking to broaden her horizons and believes her hopes and dreams are realistic. Worries she may not be able to do the things she wants and needs to escape to a peaceful, quiet environment in order to restore her confidence."

Your Desired Objective

Seeks to be known for something she has accomplished and uses her social abilities to win people over. Emotional and sensitive and romantic.

Your Actual Problem

Longs the freedom to make her own decisions and plans without the criticism and restrictions of others. Uses her charm to deal with others and get what she wants.

I like these personality things, and how they are often at least 50% right. It's cool that coloured blocks can do that.

However, I would have preferred colour being spelled with a 'u' where there should be a 'u'.

In other news, Muammar Gadhafi (Gaddafi/Qaddafi), you will never be a real martyr without a real cause.

Mohamed Bouazizi,

I wish you knew what you have inspired.

Libya,

Our thoughts are with you now more than ever.

The word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out.

I still think Valentine's day is dumb. And I was really curious to see whether having a boyfriend this year would change that for me, and it didn't. I had something really nice done for me and I appreciate it so much, but it would be equally as nice on any other day of the year. Maybe even more so because it would be so unexpected. We shouldn't need a special day dedicated to loving people. That's so silly. Every day is for loving people.

'Here's to be free man, my heart's my home.

"According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and a head with 2 faces. Fearing their power, Zeus separated them into two parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves."

- Plato

I don't believe in Valentines. If you love someone, tell them every day.'

That little bit there that I put quotes around, the title and the quote and the two sentences, that's what I wrote on Valentine's last year. I think I had the right idea.

Queen's, I hope you like cheese.

Throughout high school, I believe that the opportunities I have had to develop as a student, a leader, and a global citizen have greatly contributed to help me become the person I am today. I spent time volunteering with school-based initiatives such as a nation-wide blood drive, a benefit talent show with proceeds going to a scholarship fund for orphaned children in India, and a campaign to promote awareness of the Darfur genocide. These projects allowed me to discover how easy it can be to adopt a cause and truly contribute to benefiting those members of our international community who do not have the opportunity to help themselves.

I believe that my chances to immerse myself in a global environment would increase exponentially if I were to attend Queen’s University. Not only does the university boast students with intensely diverse backgrounds; there are also numerous chances to study abroad, and many clubs within the university that provide aide to and/or raise awareness on issues affecting people all over the world.

Ambitious as I may be for myself, I believe that, having personally benefited from an upbringing in a fiscally well-off family living in a stable, peaceful, and democratic society, it is my responsibility to help those who may not have had the same opportunities I did. Looking towards the future, I want for myself a good education and a job where I am happy and able to provide for myself as well as family of my own. However, I do not believe that I will merit these rewards if I do not dedicate ample time to my local community, my country, and the global network, which stretches well beyond any borders.

I believe that the notion of being an engaged citizen is becoming increasingly rare, and I hope that is something my generation will be able to turn around. My goal for my time at Queen’s is to become an active and engaged citizen on a global level, so that I may begin to make whatever small changes I can in this world.

I need to tell you some things and I will say them to you tomorrow but I need to practice here first, because I think that will make it less scary.

I'm not avoiding you and I'm not mad at you, but right now I don't want to be around you, and there are reasons for this. For now, I need to be around not only the people that know her best, but around the people that know me best as well. I have no walls up anymore, not even any barbed wire or chain link fences, and I hate that but I know it's part of this whole situation and that throwing up the caution tape is only going to keep away the people that I want and need to be around. Which doesn't include you. Which I am sorry about. A few months has not been long enough for me to feel like I want you to see me this vulnerable. And I will try and make this sound nicer tomorrow but I don't know how to tell you that I can't be around you, because I know it sounds awfully mean, and I don't want to hurt you. I don't know. I don't think I am going to say any of this to you tomorrow. What's the right thing to do?

Paraplegic.

This is the ugliest word I have ever heard. Even worse that moist.

I know that the last thing she would ever want is for the rest of us to shut down, but I don't have any idea what to do with myself.

There is comfort in the fact that when this happened, she was doing what she loved.

It's tragic, but it's not a car accident or a plane crash or a slip on the ice on her front steps.

It's commitment and it's passion and it's love.

I don't know how to explain.

Words, words, words.

Nothing makes this make sense.

10

I'm mad again and I've been mad a lot lately and it's all for really petty reasons only today it feels a bit different and I'm mad at you and I don't like being mad at you and I wonder if I should say something or not, and I can't tell if it's the kind of mad that will pass through my system in a couple days or if it's the type that will fester, so that soon everything you say will annoy me and I wont want to be in the same room as you anymore because you made a little itty bitty mistake and I didn't say that I was mad even though I was mad. Most likely it's the second one, so most likely tomorrow you will know that I am mad and then I will tell you why and you will say "Erin, that's dumb and not a reason to be mad and you are just overreacting because you are stressed and have taken too much upon yourself and are developing LL tendencies that make you want to be good at everything you do and that is unrealistic." Only you never use sentences that long so probably you will stop at "Erin, that's dumb."

I wish I knew how to shut of my mind. Can you imagine those kinds of whinny whines running constantly through your brain? It's exhausting.

The experiment is developing attitude and I don't like that and it's not related at all to anything else in this post but I wanted to say it anyways.

Maybe that's what happens though, when you make things that shouldn't be experiments into experiments. Maybe I should have read Frankenstein.

Karma owes her a break.

She's going to be okay.

She's going to be okay.

She's going to be okay.

She's going to be okay.

She's going to be okay.

She's going to be okay.

She's going to be okay.

She's going to be okay.

Never have I ever seen this side of these people.

It makes me feel for certain they're still on the right track.

This sucks.

So much love Timmy, can't stop thinking about you.

I'm not lost, I just didn't want to be on that path.

My name is Erin and I have a lot of thoughts and I am going to write some of them down.

I cry A LOT. I used to cry once a year. Now I seem to cry three times a day. Not even at sad things. At everything. I teared up listening to an Obama speech today. But I made sure nobody saw. That may have been borderline acceptable in Poli Sci with all my nerdy nerds, but in english it would have just been embarrassing.

I have a friend who is really cool and pretty and smart and successful, and I am not jealous. And that makes me so happy. I like being happy for other people who have lots of reasons to be happy. I like the word happy. In a similar fashion to the word blunt, I feel that happy also suits its definition.

Sometimes I wear black and navy together and I still think I look nice.

I'm not really sure who I am. I don't know myself. And that used to worry me a bit, not in a sharp and painful and obvious way, but in a persistent and brooding on the back burner kind of way. And tonight I thought about it for a little bit and I realized that just because I am fast at most things does not necessarily mean I need to be fast at ALL things, and if it takes me a long time to know who I am and what I like and what I think and all that, then that's okay. And then I wondered whether anyone knows who I am, or who they themselves are and stuff. I just wondered a lot. I am a wonderer. And a wanderer. And those are both words that I love. But those two words alone are not really enough to sum me up. But it's okay that I don't know the rest. For now. I apparently like talking in circles.

Sometimes I am really grumpy and I like to be alone and watch lame television like Vampire Diaries.

I like C.S. Lewis and I like drugs, and I like what happens when you mix the two together.

I like stegosaurus a lot. I can't help it. They're just really cool.

I like extreme feminism and groups full people that haven't learned a thing about social studies in english since the sixth grade, and even though they are actually really smart, it seems like they haven't got a clue what's going on.

"Plus qu'on prête attention aux conïncidences, plus elles se produisent."