I hate being forced to sit at home for hours on end pretending to study math and chemistry. I hate that concepts which were so simple 4 months ago no longer fit into my brain, I hate that I can't remember anything. I hate that the weather takes a change for the better and today, I have not been outside to appreciate it. I hate that I am finding so many uses for the word hate. I hate that word. I hate that people in Haiti are going through hell, and I am here at home, here in Canada, being useless. I hate that I cannot go down there and help. I hate that I feel sorry for myself, while others have lost everything. I hate how there is so much attention on Haiti, yet half of Africa is starving, and the Afghan war is raging, and North Korea is stuck under a communist dictatorship ruling, and yet, everybody has forgotten. Yes, Haiti needs our help, but they are not the only ones. I hate that as a collective people, humans can be so superficial. We claim to want to help, but abandoning one cause the second another comes up is not helping. I hate that there is so much greed and anger and pain in this world. I hate that everyone could be happy, if the fat, power hungry middle aged men who drive SUV's and care about nothing but being CEO of the next big oil company could give two shits about the global economy crisis, if they could spare a thought for the HIV/AIDS pandemic that has killed tens of millions of people, and not only in the third world, but even some here at home. I hate that I sit down at my computer to rant for a while about math and chemistry and how hard I have it, and I realize that my problems are non-existent. I hate being told I am too young to help, that there is nothing I can do right now, that finishing school, getting a good education, is the best thing I can do for the world. Sure, maybe I can ace all my high school courses and go to university to become a world class environmental engineer, or doctor. But we're talking ten years from now. I can't wait ten years. I want to help now. And I want the rest of my generation to start caring. I'm sick of lunch time talk about who wore what to which party last weekend. We are the ones that are capable of making a difference right now. We need to start taking ourselves seriously, so that others will also. We can't sit back and expect our parents, or our teachers, or even todays leading environmental scientists to fight for a future that is not theirs. I need to be able to believe in the people around me. So yeah, today is pretty shitty. I am here at home, not studying for my tests, not making a difference in my life or anyone else's. I am not significant. And maybe for me personally, tomorrow will be better, but the world will not be saved over night. Tomorrow, I will wake up, and we will not have world peace. And today, that feels like my problem.
Oh right, my life is good.
One can't help but think that with someone like you in the world, our future still retains hope, promise and change. With your brillance, charm and passion there is not a doubt in my mind that you hold more significance than any oil rigger or executive big wig. What you may not be able to see now due to your veil of stress and worry is clear to all others around you; you are important to our future, and you are important to all the people that care so deeply for you. Don't lose faith just yet, keep that strength that I know lies deep within you, and you will make the world a better place. Infact you already have, simply by caring. I love you kid and I know exactly how you feel.
ReplyDeleteBlood bank by Bon Iver is a really good song to take a deep breath and relax to. Ibwould recomend it.
That Earl Gray bit just made my day
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