Make the most of what comes, and the least of what goes.

Sometimes I am rude.

Sometimes I talk back.

Sometimes I don't show respect.

And I don't use this fact as an excuse, but perhaps an explanation.

I am this way because sometimes, I need space.

And currently, in this house, space is hard to come by.

Grandma, I am sorry that I am impatient with you. I am sorry that you can't do things as quickly or as easily as you used to be able to. I am sorry that I get fed up. I am sorry that I get mad because I can't listen to my music as loud as I want, cause then you can't hear anyone else talking. I am sorry that you are deaf and need everything repeated, and I am sorry that this bothers me. It's obviously not your fault, and I know that, and I understand it, but it still drives me crazy. I want you to know that I love you and that I really am glad you are here, instead of alone in Ontario. I will tell you that before you leave. I promise.

Dad, I am sorry to you as well that I have been short tempered with Grandma. She is your mother, and you love her and I love her, and you must be glad and also relieved that she is here for six weeks. But six weeks is a long time when you are sixteen years old. My priorities aren't the same as anyone else's. I need time with my friends, I need time to do school work, I need time to work, I need time to sleep. And I can only play so many games of scrabble in a 24 hour period.

Mum, I am sorry that you feel the same way I do about Grandma being here. You tell me I need to put more of an effort into spending time with her, you tell me it's important to know my grandparents. And you are right. You are so right. But I know you know it's hard. Because you get fed up too. And you do put in more effort than I do, you do keep yourself composed, and you are such a gracious host to her, even though she frequently forgets her please and thank you. I don't know how you do it, but I will try to follow your example. I am also sorry that you will have to continue to entertain her when Kate and I go back to school and Dad goes back to work. I said six weeks is a long time for a sixteen year old. It's also a long time for a stay at home mum entertaining her mother in law.

Kate, I am sorry I don't spend more time with you. I am sorry we aren't interested in more of the same things. I am sorry I don't like you following me around the house, wanting to do everything I do. I am sorry I don't like you hugging me, touching my hair, leaning on me constantly. I am sorry I am not a better role model. Do not look up to me, I am not the kind of person you need to become. Following exactly in my foots steps will not make you happy. It was the right path for me, but you need to find your own. Be your own, beautiful, sparkling, dazzling person. You think mum and dad want you to be just like me, but they don't. They want you to be YOU, and they want you to be happy.

(Rachel, I am sorry, because you are the only person that had the slightest chance of reading this. And I am whiny and bitter and rude, and now you know.)