As long as these wheels roll they'll never rust.

I am obsessive. I nearly forgot this feeling. I thought maybe it was a phase I had grown out of. But recently it's back to 90 degree angles, and shirts folded the way they should be, and towels draped so the tag is where it belongs, and cupboards are closed all the way and nothing is sticking out of drawers, and the spines of books are all equal distances from the edge of the shelf. These things are like little shields. Like walls. Like if I can control these things I can control everything else. I can control me. I'm scared of this girl.

I need to move. I need to get out of this house, out of this city, off this planet. I should be an astronaut.

I should find something to be passionate about. Someone to be passionate with.

I should not be jealous. I have so much.

I'm restless.

Restless.

Restless.

Dynamic equilibrium.

Add a catalyst. It wont change, nor will the products, nor will the reactants. But this catalyst is so effective that the forward and reverse reactions are now happening at warp speed.

That's how this feels.

But I'm done chemistry.

And chemistry was simple.

You're not. I'm not.

Andy's growing up. So am I. So is everyone. We can't stop it.

I was ready to forgive. And then I was going to forget. Now I don't know what to do.

Every person on this planet is 1 in 6 billion. The more people there are, the more rare it is to find someone just like you.

There's a boy. Is that cliché ? Is there always a boy ?

I want to be fun and exciting and interesting. I forget how.