When the sun is shining, I'll be gone.

I know you don't think about me all the time and I don't think about you all the time because this year things are different and we don't have the same things happening to us, but I think about you when it's important to think about you, and I hope you do the same. I will never say that everything happens for a reason or any of that bologna, but I really do think that it makes sense that we aren't figuring out all this stuff together. I think it makes sense that you went your way and I went mine (and yours was a whole lot more of a new way than mine. Really, you went your way and I stayed where I was. Sort of. Depends on how much you like metaphors and such, maybe. I don't like metaphors, or anything else that reminds me of my english project right now. If you start a new thought inside a parentheses do you have to start an inner parentheses? (Does anyone know how to spell parentheses without google? If you do I'll be impressed.) I wonder if that was what I was supposed to do or not. Maybe it's like math, where you use [ ] for the outer parentheses and then ( ) for the inner? I don't know. Somebody give me a grammar lesson.) Anyways, I think it's good that you're not where I am and I'm not where you are because you're figuring things out and I think I am figuring things out as well and I

think that it will just be all around better for you to come home in the summer and then we can talk about what we both figured out. And it will be like old times with new people. Which is to say that it will be the same two bodies, but not the exact same two people, doing the same old things we used to do. I still don't know if you read this. I'll probably copy it into the next message I send you. I should be typing it in a message in the first place. But I have two blog posty things on my wall page thing that are from February, and that feels like ancient history already so I'd like to bump them down a few spots.

I am tired. Every time I get busy, I thrive on it for a week or so, and then I just can't handle it anymore, every single time it feels like there is no way I have ever been this tired before and I am positive I will never be this tired again, but it keeps on happening. And I can't stop eating. I'm hungry all the time. I can't keep myself full. And I'm trying so hard to eat healthy because I'm so sick of being sick, and I don't want to do anymore fainting at inconvenient times, and because I want to be good at field hockey.

I wish I had figured out a bit more about the world before I took Poli Sci. I don't like this class because it's too much work and I was a big procrastinator and it takes time away from classes that are more important, such as Math. And apparently, English. Who decided to let English be so important? I know how to read and I know how to write and I can stand up in front of a class full of people and talk without pissing myself and as far as I can figure, that should be all you can be required to learn from english class before they let you graduate high school. I do not want to write profound and illuminating topic sentences. I just want to write little tid bits in my bloggy blog and that is all I need to know how to do. That's not what this paragraph is about though. So I probably would have just failed my diploma right there, because I didn't connect those other sentences to my topic sentence. Guess what? I don't even have a topic sentence. Or a thesis. Or any clue what I am talking about. I'm starting over.

I wish I had figured a bit more about the world before I took Poli Sci. I don't like reading chapters out of the text book because much of it is dull and plat. (I dont know how to say that in english, but in French I used it to mean boring and and unimaginative and potentially even coma inducing. I think it might mean flat. I don't know if you're allowed to use that to desribe writing in english but you are in french so tant pis pour toi.) I just don't want to ever stop being uninspired by the world I feel like that might be what is happening because of this class and I just wish I had figured more stuff out on my own terms before this started.

I don't know.

I really don't know.

It wasn't goodbye, remember?

We said "see you later."

And I will see you later.

"Everyone who's born has come from the sea. Your mother's womb is just the sea in small. And birds come out of the sea in eggs. Horses lie in the sea before they're born. The placenta is the sea. And your blood is the sea continued in your veins. We are the ocean - walking on the land."